Still an old age soul caged in this modern generation!

Have you ever felt like a misfit? An odd one out? No, not in the way you are but in the way you think , in the way you feel, in the way look at the world? 

Because I have this feeling often. A feeling of being completely away when I am right in middle of a conversation. A feeling of being lost while still in senses. A feeling of being ‘misfit’ in this ultra modern and deceptive world.

 I am young but I feel I have already grown out of senseless, small talks. My heart craves from deepness. I’ve always believed that there’s more to person than what it appears to be.

“What’s better intimacy than two people peeling the layers of each other’s soul one by one?”

I have stopped enjoying talks which doesn’t tug my heartstrings anymore. It’s in real conversations that I find my solace, my peace. 

I can proudly say that I am still a girl with old school thoughts and feelings. I sometimes feel that I am an old soul trapped in a new age body. I prefer feeling the lyrics than dancing the music away without being in senses. Love, Care, Respect haven’t escaped my dictionary yet. No , I am not talking about the mockery displayed today in the name of love. I am talking about love which makes your heart skip a beat. Love, which not only makes you fall but rise much above that. Love, which is way above exchanging gifts. Love which is about handwritten letters soaked with feelings and ‘real’ emotions. 

I don’t crave for company anymore. Words give me the solace like nobody. 

The world today has lost the deepness in its soul. People don’t talk about ideas, feelings, fears, emotions anymore. I am not asking you to be serious and not have fun. Life is incomplete without either of them. But the true essence of a human lies in his deepness.

“There’s nothing more attractive than rawness in people.”

Today , somebody can be sitting right in front of you and yet miles away. Few small talks, fake smile and hollow laughter is the definition of a conversation. 

This world where ‘realness’ and ‘deepness’ has taken a backseat scares me to no end. People, let’s bring back our emotions, our feelings. No, they aren’t over and gone. They are lying there in the dustiest corner of your heart weighed down by the obligations of life. I know life runs through the wheels of practicality and brain but your emotions, thoughts and feelings are it’s fuel. Let’s not make ourselves so receptive to these emotions that when you need to cry, tears don’t come out. Believe me, there’s nothing more suffocating than that. There’s a child sitting inside your body with legs folded and face on the knees, asking you to stop killing it day by day. There’s a lover sulking inside you, asking you to love with all your heart. There’s a friend inside you, asking you to be there for your people not only physically but emotionally. There’s your soul asking you to not just see but ‘feel’. You are an amalgamation of different people. Don’t kill them to make your journey easy. Life is a one time experience, let each of them breathe and ‘live’.

let’s take a pause from this rush and breathe in the open air and sometimes just sometimes let our hearts take over!

– Shreya Agrawal