It’s Okay to be not Okay!

Haven’t we always been told to “Be strong”? We are constantly asked to hold ourselves together and never show our vulnerable and weak sides to anybody lest we will no longer remain the ideal being who has everything figured out and has immense control over his/her emotions. This is what I grew up believing- Being vulnerable is being weak. So a facade was worn and a smile was painted each time I found myself going closer to hitting the rock bottom  because hey! One shouldn’t be weak, Right? But then why do I always feel suffocated when I bury my vulnerabilities deep inside myself and pretend to be “strong”? Is being strong really necessary?

I don’t understand why can’t I be weak and vulnerable and have to take part in this masquerade show of people all putting this mask of happiness and joy when they are all suffering and dying inside. The brim finally had to break and thus it did. With emotions and feelings overflowing from my once tightly packed compartment of heart, I no longer had the strength to pretend that I was okay. Because I was not. And once I finally allowed myself to be not okay, I realised,

“It’s okay to be not okay.”

It’s okay to have days when nothing feels right. Its okay to have nights when you go to sleep lonely and scared. Don’t forcefully push yourself to be okay when you are not.

I didn’t feel weak when I started sharing my vulnerabilities. Rather, I developed a new found strength and courage which allowed me to accept and embrace the same weakness and vulnerable sides of mine which used to haunt me.

It was as if I was slowly letting myself get free of a huge burden bit by bit.

It isn’t easy ofcourse. Sometimes when you hide yourself from the world for too long, you fail to find your own real being which gets lost in those straight and smily faces.

But all it takes is one layer at a time.

I was afraid I’ll no longer be secured if I happen to be weak in front of anyone but instead went on to build a connection which is way deeper than any superficial bond. So let go of this pretentious layer of fortitude and allow yourself to be human with myriad of emotions constantly flowing inside you.

So, in this world full of advices asking you to be strong all the time,

“Be weak”

“Be vulnerable.”

“Be real.”

And believe me, you’ll come out much happier than before.

Because at the end of the day, its happiness we all seek for.

 

-Shreya Agrawal

Featured Image by: @_minimalista

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